Let's get it on!

Hi All,

Living in Sweden does has is perks and even if I have to come to love winter this winter I was very happy that it snowed in November and did not snow anymore after.

I was convinced it would be an early spring, I think even the birds thought it would be, because they were singing and totally getting it on.

But guess what? Yesterday there fell 35cm of snow. Everything white, cold and wet.

To be honest i felt a bit down because of it.

But I promised myself to do my best, so full of courage after i send everybody off to school, i dressed well and went out with my doggo Finn.

(My view from the kitchen)

(Finn playing with his leash)

I have to say, Finn being a dog with loads of fur absolutely loves this kind of weather, so he was totally hyped to go out and take a walk. I have to say he lifted my mood and before I knew I was doing just as stupid and silly as him :)

(enjoying the snow)

(we can make the same face hahaha)

(I managed to smile in the snow :P)

Because of the good mood of Finn I managed to change my mood as well. Once at home i did some cleaning and laundry and got in a full morning of designing tattoo's, (while playing music) which tomorrow I hope to put on some fake skin to practice.

I even managed to meditate and to work with manifestation.

But after a whole morning being very busy i sort of crashed at 13.00 o'clock, not motivated for anything anymore. I granted myself an hour in bed to be able to relax, but when Finn wanted to join me in bed he managed to jump on the bed and stick his big black honker in my eye, which was very painful. The nose might be soft and squishy but with 25 kilo of dog behind it, it was still very painful. So the whole idea of relaxing an hour went directly out of the window.

So when my eye was finally down producing liters of water I watched some netflix and than it was already time again to pick up my little boy from school. So again all dressed up, Finn leashed and back into the snow again. Little boy was happy to see us and together we walked home, talking about the day.

I have to say overall the day was not bad and I am proud for doing what I needed to do and what I wanted to do. I still need to learn not to get frustrated about the fact I get worn out so fast. But i try to think in small steps.

Hopefully tomorrow will be good too, minus the dog nose than :D

Have a wonderful evening!

Luna

Watch me Heal

Sometimes you need to kick yourself in the ass and just go.

Oh yes I tried, many times. But somehow things are stirring in me and I feel there is not other option than to change. So I will log my journey. To heal.

What do you want to heal from you might ask. I will try to explain short even though that is nearly impossible. But stick with what is most important for me now. Considering I am not my past.

I got diagnosed with a pituitary gland tumor in 2008, got surgery 2009, lost a part of my pituitary gland, pituitary stem broken, my whole hormonal system screwed up.

Got diagnosed with anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar 2 disorder, PTSD and extreme trauma.

So yeah...

The last year has been a roller coaster of medicine. Because doctors are not in the business of healing, but of subscribing meds. But listening is not their talent. So me telling them that meds are a bad idea with my hormonal problems did not seem an option to consider. And me desperate for a solution took the meds. Got sick, aggressive, lethargic, emotionless, numb, lost function of body controls and when I crashed into a closet going to the toilet at night because the meds paralyzed 1 side of my body I thought to myself now it fucking done with this shit.

I stopped cold turkey with the stuff they gave me, was badly sick detoxing. And slowly went back to my bipolar self. Depressed with manic episodes. At least that is safe to feel.

But I want more of life. I want to feel alive. And deep in my heart I know all those diagnoses are just diagnoses,  a mirror of what stirs in my soul. And from that point I want to find my path to heal.

Thanks to my husband and ex-husband (which I call my friend) I could start my own piercing studio which i soon want to expand with tattooing also. I am a creative person and in creativity I find peace and a way to express my feelings. But just painting will not bring me any income, so i decided to use this talent to decorate other people so I can do something I love.
I also give workshop, mostly pagan related.

My goal is to make my studio successful, go more out in nature (actually as much as I can), be creative every day, meditate, eat healthy, share love with my husband and children, be the best mum and wife I can be.

And to write. And that I will do through this blog. Writing helps me to stick to goals, express my emotions and feelings and share this.

Because I know I am not along in this journey.

So Hi! Nice to meet you, I am Luna and I welcome you on my  journey <3