Watch me Heal

Sometimes you need to kick yourself in the ass and just go.

Oh yes I tried, many times. But somehow things are stirring in me and I feel there is not other option than to change. So I will log my journey. To heal.

What do you want to heal from you might ask. I will try to explain short even though that is nearly impossible. But stick with what is most important for me now. Considering I am not my past.

I got diagnosed with a pituitary gland tumor in 2008, got surgery 2009, lost a part of my pituitary gland, pituitary stem broken, my whole hormonal system screwed up.

Got diagnosed with anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar 2 disorder, PTSD and extreme trauma.

So yeah...

The last year has been a roller coaster of medicine. Because doctors are not in the business of healing, but of subscribing meds. But listening is not their talent. So me telling them that meds are a bad idea with my hormonal problems did not seem an option to consider. And me desperate for a solution took the meds. Got sick, aggressive, lethargic, emotionless, numb, lost function of body controls and when I crashed into a closet going to the toilet at night because the meds paralyzed 1 side of my body I thought to myself now it fucking done with this shit.

I stopped cold turkey with the stuff they gave me, was badly sick detoxing. And slowly went back to my bipolar self. Depressed with manic episodes. At least that is safe to feel.

But I want more of life. I want to feel alive. And deep in my heart I know all those diagnoses are just diagnoses,  a mirror of what stirs in my soul. And from that point I want to find my path to heal.

Thanks to my husband and ex-husband (which I call my friend) I could start my own piercing studio which i soon want to expand with tattooing also. I am a creative person and in creativity I find peace and a way to express my feelings. But just painting will not bring me any income, so i decided to use this talent to decorate other people so I can do something I love.
I also give workshop, mostly pagan related.

My goal is to make my studio successful, go more out in nature (actually as much as I can), be creative every day, meditate, eat healthy, share love with my husband and children, be the best mum and wife I can be.

And to write. And that I will do through this blog. Writing helps me to stick to goals, express my emotions and feelings and share this.

Because I know I am not along in this journey.

So Hi! Nice to meet you, I am Luna and I welcome you on my  journey <3